Well what's a witty name for my journal...

OK so maybe I AM a dork. But no amount of teasing or putting me down will make me change or make me dislike myself. Because I LIKE MYSELF. Every little stupid thing about me. That I know how to sing a tri-tone or that I sit around and watch Alias for hours or that I would much rather be at Disneyland. All of it! It's all me and that's fine. Yup, that's fine for me. 

I wish I had never met that one person...you know. That one. Way to make life difficult.

What is going on? WHAT? IS? GOING? ON?!? No I mean, no really, what is going on. Like seriously. Could someone please tell me? Or maybe just show me how to get away? Because that would be just SWELL. Just wonderful. 

So I realized something. The one thing I CANNOT stand is being talked about behind my back. I really can't stand it. It drives me nuts. YUCK. 

So I was bitten by some sort of bug and my leg is swollen and IT HURTS! It is burning up and it itches and it makes it hard to walk. I bought Benadryl cream at Target as a desperate attempt but alas it has not solved my problem. I am still in pain and I dont know what to do. I just want to cry and go to sleep. I'm not really that tired but I just....I don't know. I don't know what to do with myself at this moment. I know I should go to Ives to practice, and I'm sure it would make me feel better, but it just takes so much effort to go there. This sucks because my family is coming this weekend and here I am in my room in pain and wanting to go to sleep. It sucks just because I won't have a chance to hang out with my friends really this weekend.

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Looks like it's time for Alias. And maybe some sorbet, seeing as I have no chocolate ice cream.

Well I'm basically bored already. I've felt better about myself because I've been hanging out with Jackie and Victoria for the past couple days. But still, there are those moments where I am sitting on my butt in front of my computer and eating goldfish and I'm thinking...couldn't I be doing SOMETHING?! ANYTHING?! But that's OK. I have a busy schedule this week: tomorrow I'm going to hang out with a friend from high school who I never really talk to anymore (it might be awkward...), then I'm going to dinner with friends from middle school (also might be awkward...), and then the high school band concert which will be really sad because it's the senior's last concert. Then Friday I'm going to the high school to visit people and then I have a job interview at 24 Hour Fitness!! Then Saturday I'm going to my dad's at Tahoe for a few days!


I hate people at concerts! The audience I mean. Just because the choir is clapping a cute rhythm on stage does NOT mean it is your place to start clapping your own rhythm that is not even CLOSE to the beat!!!!! JUST STOP!!!! Also, I must say that middle school aged kids are not my favorite...they think they are soo cool with their ridiculous clothes and dramatic makeup and ugly hair...It's ridiculous.

My sisters go to this small school that's grades K-8 and they have about 30 people in grades 7 and 8. Because of the small sizes, they all know each other and they're all good friends and everything. The only downside...well there is none that I can see. But now both my sisters are extremely confident and dorky and funny and sarcastic, but all in good ways. It just makes me feel like I missed out on something, because now I'm shy and can barely act like they do. I mean my sister is about to start high school and I'm sure things will change. But when I was in 8th grade, I doubt I was as free spirited and creative and funny as she is. Not that I can't be. I mean...I'm sure I could be...right? Maybe I'm just the loner of the bunch. The first born becomes the introverted freak while the other two rise about it all and become famous and amazing...That's another thing. Everyone is always saying my sister has such an amazing voice. Yes it's lovely, obviously not very grown up but she IS only 14...but I mean if she's got this voice right now, imagine her voice in a few years...And I just feel like..she can't excel faster than me!! Is that bad? I feel bad for thinking that, but...agh. I don't know. I mean I know I have an OK voice. I know I'm getting better, I just need more work. But...I just don't know!!!!!!!!!!


I wish I could cry and act out some dramatic scene right now lol. I mean sure I could cry about my own life and stuff. Not that it's so horrible. But I'd rather act out some other story and just use my own emotions.

Oh great, my shingles are reappearing. Not reappearing..just...acting up. Stupid stress.